


It's History, Dumbass

by stardust_moonbeams



Series: Bicycles: Bisexual Icicles [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Peter Parker, Bisexual Tony Stark, Bisexuality, Goddammit, Ice Cream Parlors, Ice cream makes the world a better place, Its short but so is life, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Pride, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 09:21:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19742755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_moonbeams/pseuds/stardust_moonbeams
Summary: Alexander Hamilton, Josephine Baker, Billie Holiday, Julius Caesar, Leonardo Da Vinci, Isaac Newton, Alexander the Great, Florence Nightingale.Now Peter Benjamin Parker.





	It's History, Dumbass

"Kid. Why am I here?" Tony stark gave Peter Parker the most stern look he could master. It wasn't like the kid to cause trouble, and honestly the billionaire just wanted to get to the bottom of whatever was going on.

"Well since Aunt May's away and you're technically my guardian the school called you; but I asked them not to 'cause you're super busy and all, and-" Peter paused as Tony raised a hand to cut through Peter's rambling.

"Kid." He sighed. His expensive suit looked rumpled from where he'd dashed out of some board ( _ bored _ ) meeting. Pepper was probably going to give him Hell for that come to think of it.

"If I may?" Principal Morita interrupted. "Mr Hargreaves reported Peter being explicitly perverse during his lesson and disruptive the entire time. When asked to stop, Peter told Mr Hargreaves to "Go fuck himself". Normally I would not only take a teacher's word but Peter refuses to explain his story, therefore I have no choice but to accept Mr Hargreaves suggestion of suspension. Peter is not to attend school for the next 3 days. He may return on Monday." 

Tony Stark gave a glare to the principle, but still he nodded. "Can I take Peter now?" He asked impatiently. Once Morita agreed Tony marched Peter to the car, getting in the back with him as he let Happy drive. 

"What happened, kid?" Tony asked softly, the uncharacteristic quiet from Peter freaking him out. When he got no response he continued, "Explicitly perverse? What does that even mean?" Tony scoffed at the wording. Peter just fidgeted slightly in his seat. "You can tell me anything, Pete." The billionaire urged.

Peter sighed deeply, his eyes not looking away from the window, New York slowly passing. "We had this project in English." He started quietly, "We were meant to make a presentation on a cultural issue we found important and could link to literature. I did LGBT erasure when talking about authors. I went through the obvious ones: Tennessee Williams, Oscar Wilde, Virginia Wolfe- and how we weren't taught about it." Peter breathed in, thinking his words through before he spoke. "Mr Hargreaves tells me to stop my presentation and that 'it isn't appropriate for school'. Well, I guess I just got mad. So I asked him why it wasn't appropriate. But I didn't really like his answer, it was some stupid bs about how its inappropriate to corrupt children in such a way. So then I got really mad and I guess I started ranting at him about how it could do so much for LGBT kids to learn that important historical figures were part of that community. 

He got really huffy then. Not happy about what I was bringing up, said I was foolish to believe that any important historical figures were LGBT. So I started to list people. Alexander Hamilton, Josephine Baker, Billie Holiday, Julius Caesar, Leonardo Da Vinci, Isaac Newton, Alexander the Great, Florence Nightingale. He just didn't want to hear it. At some point both of us started shouting. 

Eventually he shouted 'Parker sit down and be quiet of matters you don't understand'. I guess I was just so angry that I said." Peter paused to take another, far more shaky breath, "I told him to shut the fuck up, 'cause as a bisexual person, someone in the LGBT community. I knew exactly what I was talking about. He didn't take it very well and then we were in Morita's office." Peter was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry you were called down, Mr Stark."

Tony stared at Peter for a moment, processing all of the information he had just been given. "Kid," he started. He cleared his throat, "Pete." Peter glanced at him slightly. "You did good." Peter seemed to completely freeze. "I'm proud of you." Peter fully looked at him now, tear filled eyes staring. "Does May know?" Tony asked softly. Peter nodded. Tony smiled, "How about we go get ice cream?"

"Mr- Mr Stark?" Peter questioned confused.

"We can invite Nat!" Tony grinned, already on his phone.

"Wha- Why would we invite the  _ Black Widow  _ to come get ice cream?" Peter exclaimed incredulously.

"Bisexual team bonding." Tony grinned as Peter fully gaped at him.

And that is how Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff and Peter Parker ended up in an ice cream parlor debating who else they should invite to their bisexual club. (Tony had nominated Bruce and Thor, Nat had volunteered Steve and Bucky, and Peter held the unpopular opinion that they needed 2 more stabby bisexuals to match Nat, so suggested Loki and Valkyrie). And if Mr Hargreaves was magically fired by Monday, well nobody said a thing.


End file.
